Talk on Love and Marriage

Prof Deva talking about relationships

A refreshing talk on love and marriage was conducted by Prof Dr M Parameshvara Deva a/l Muttu Ramalingam from the UTAR Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences on 3 August 2016 at Sungai Long Campus. The talk was organised by the Centre for Extension Education (CEE) and it drew in interested staff, students, and the public who were intrigued by the topic and were entertained with its realistic facts and stories.

Prof Deva is currently a Professor in the Department of Medicine and is a happily married man who has provided counselling to couples on many issues relating to love, relationships, marriages, divorces, and separation.

In his talk, Prof Deva covered topics on the social, economic, and personal aspects of love and marriage; the definition, expectations, and alternatives to love and marriage; social norms, causes, and reasons for marriages and divorces; and current views among the young on marriages. The students who were present listened with great intent on the topic, especially on the various reasons for people choosing to marry and their criteria for choosing their partner.

In his presentation, Prof Deva defined love as “a selfless, endless giving: a joyful weakness for, and surrender to another.” Hence, the words falling in love are used; it’s a fall. He also mentioned that the greatest adjustment period in marriages is the first five years of marriage, followed by a period of stability and another period of adjustment about 20 years later. He went on to talk about the causes of adjustment problems to give an understanding of how they can be managed better. According to Prof Deva, the divorce rates in the US is about 50% of all marriages while in Malaysia it is about 15% to 20%, with the number of divorces higher during the two adjustment periods mentioned.

Although this is generally not a very common topic among students, this talk was well received by the students and staff in the audience who asked several questions about love and relationships seeking Prof Deva’s opinion.

Love and marriage have become such household words that one hardly stops to ponder about the what, when, how, who, and why of the matter although love and marriage occupy a great part of our lives. Talks like this bring us back down to earth to ponder about our personal lives and our responsibilities besides just focusing on work.

The audience at the talk